HERE AND NOW

skoty11-male‘Mom, can we have them?’
‘We’ve already got two cats, darling.’
‘But look – they are so cute! This one must be a girl!’
‘No. No way!’
‘So let’s give them something to eat at least.’
‘If we start feeding them they will stop hunting and will get dependant on us.’

The subject kept coming back like a boomerang for a month, but I was tough. Five cats in the house were way too many for me!

Most firmly determined never to give up, I shut the door behind me and set off to the shop, when all of the sudden, under a bush, I saw a tiny kitten fixing its huge, hungry eyes on me.

When an hour later another little thing snatched a bit of stinking, tough fish skin from under my feet, something inside me broke. I rushed to the kitchen, filled a little bowl with cat food, and…

…after a while three little mouths, not believing their luck, were tucking in their first in a long time balanced meal.

Amelka was delighted.

And me?…

There were a thousand thoughts a second in my head. What have I done?!
I’ve just taken on responsibility for three wild little cats. And what now? Ok, we can take one little fleabag home, but what about the remaining two?… We could feed them. Ok, and what about the coming winter? Will I be able to stand the sight of freezing little creatures out of the window? But it’s impossible for us to share our house with five grown up cats!!! Maybe someone will take two of them? Who? Who would want two little cats that won’t even allow him or her to touch them?! What way?!  Why do I have to do something about it?!!!
Do I have to?…

… and suddenly…

… thoughts cease talking…

… and I get embraced by an immense, soothing silence…

… I open up to it and let it enfold me and calm me down…

… bring me back to the safe harbor of what is here and now…

… to my true home…

… I let myself get carried away by the delightful view of three full tummies…

… and the sparks of joy in Amelka’s eyes…

And everything gets back to its place. It’s safe. It’s enough for me to take care of what is here and now – as well as I can manage. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

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