I saw a young woman in town yesterday. Her face was distorted with anger when she was shouting at a crying, five or six-year-old boy. The steam of people went by – everyone hurried to work or to an important meeting, to the shops or home. Some people would halt for a while, others would pretend they didn’t see anything. An elderly lady stopped by me.
‘Don’t tell her anything’ she advised me. ‘You have no power to extinguish her anger. They will get back home and he’ll get even better scolding,’ she shook her head sadly and disappeared in the stream of people.
I went away. Pain remained.
Pain of the small boy who loved and cherished his mother more than anything in the world.
And, covered with anger, pain of the woman who wasn’t able to cope with the situation.
Anger kills love and intimacy. It keeps us from empathizing with the human standing in front of us and makes us treat him as an enemy. And the truth is that we are all very close to each other. Everyone of us is looking for goodness and sense. We loose our way sometimes, but even then we need help, not rejection nor anger.
So, when you are tired and disheartened, when you are no longer able to cope with what’s going on and you have to vent your anger somehow, please remember – your kid loves you and does everything the best way he can. He’s just started learning life and numerous complicated things. For a while forget all your problems and worries. Look mindfully and see a little man standing in front of you. He’s thousand times more important than not paid bills, dirty kitchen floor or dinner not served on time. He’s the most important of all things in the world…
… just like you are.
Before you say something, pause for a while. Take a deep breath. Don’t fight your feelings or emotions. Feel you pain and frustration deep inside you. Listen to what they have to tell you. And when they finish talking, hold your child close to you and feel your love for him. Let your love speak through you.
Your love has the power to extinguish your anger. It can bring healing to you and your life.
Pause and feel your love deep inside of you.
P.S. The woman I saw taught me a lesson about myself and helped me somehow to work with my own anger, anxiety and saddness. That’s why I wanted to share the story.